Friday, May 30, 2014

Make Your Critics Your Coach



"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" was the advice from Vito Corleone to his son.  Now, for those of us not in the organized "Family", this advice seems a bit too dark.  He was telling the soon to be Godfather that enemies will always be waiting for you and finding weaknesses to exploit.

But what if he was right?  Are our critics always wrong?  Do they ever have valid and reliable insights for us?  Maybe, just maybe, those who criticize us may have even a little truth in their words?

There is a vast difference between a Mentor and a Coach.  A mentor says, "Watch me and be like me...do what I do, the way i do it and how I do it and why I do it."  We need Mentors

Coaches are different.  Coaches say...well, they don't say much.  They do more asking questions and making observations.  Coaches are not about themselves; they are about their clients.  A truly good coach says, "I see this, what do you think?  How do you want to change?  Tell me how it feels when you succeed...."

Critics pretty much do the same.  Critics say, "I see this about you and here is how it feels to me."  Granted, critics don't really care about you, your success, or how their criticism feels to you.  But critics have a core of truth in their words.

What if you let down your ego and listened to those who criticize?  Not with a view to shift for their liking, but listening to the truth couched in the vitriol.  Listen, if you are so brittle that criticism always hurts, then you probably are not fiding much success anyway.  But if you simply listen for WHAT your critics are telling you and not HOW they are telling you, you might find some really good advice. 

But here's the deal:  Pride will give your critics more ammo, and you less power.

Friday, May 23, 2014

What Do You Make?

When someone asks, "What do you make?" they are usually asking how much money you make a year.  It's not really a bad question...maybe a bit intrusive, but not really offensive.

I got that question last week.  Here is how it went:

We met about an hour ago...one of those "elevator encounters". He said, "Wow, you are a coach. I have heard about them. So, what do you make?"

I looked him in the eyes and said, "I make the impossible incredibly accessible; I help you find your 'Why' and make the road ahead clearly visible. I value your vision of your future and help you find the means to employ your time, talents and treasure to make it happen. In a word, I make a difference."

He stared at me and blinked a couple of times, then I asked him, "What do you make?"He called me two minutes ago and said, "I don't care about the cost, will you help me make a difference too?"


If someone asked you "what do you make?"  what would tell them?


--Rix Done

Friday, May 16, 2014

When Thinking Messes Things Up

When does thinking mess things up?

When Meditation overpowers Movement.

Movement is infinitely more powerful than meditation.  But alas, many leaders are paralysed into thinking that thinking will make their thinking more better.

So they blame laziness, fear, and frankly, empty spirits on being busy with thinking - meditating.

So get moving. Do....something!  What's the worst that could happen?  Finding out you have other options?

--Rix Done

Friday, May 9, 2014

What Do Leaders Fear?

Leaders, both those who own the roll and those who own the label, fear many things.  Here is the list:

Leaders who own the label, but not the position:
   - being exposed
   - losing power
   - not being respected
   - the future
   - who is behind them and wanting their position
   - their own weaknesses
   - other's weaknesses

Leaders who own the Roll, even without the label:
   - being mediocre
   - not helping other's succeed
   - not listening well
   - wasting time
  
Leadership is one thing and one thing only:  INFLUENCE

Leadership is not a label, not a position, not name.  Leadership is influence with others.

Which is why leaders who have the label and not the roll pretty much live in fear...

--Rix done

Friday, May 2, 2014

Actionate, Don't Caffeinate

We do all kind of things to 'get going." 

- listen to "motivational" speakers
- make more plans
- set better goals
- eat "healthier" food
- drink more coffee - (OK, so this one isn't so bad)

We try anything to get charged, ripped, pumped, hyped, psyched, excited, juices flowing, more in knowing, peaked, seeked, and amped and ramped

But the one thing that keep most of us from actually pulling it all off is this:  Action.

I have a friend who told me the most common reason for failure is FTI:  Failure To Implement.  He's right.  Ceasing action in favor of more thinking rarely accomplishes...anything.

You don't need more caffeine.  You need more action.

Are you moving?
or are you
getting-ready-to-think-about-planning-on-putting-into-place-a-strategy-that-will-become-the-means-by-which-all-other-intents-become-the basis-for-which-we-make-all-future-plans?

--Rix done