Monday, August 18, 2014

Myths That Kill Success - Myth 6: The Past

This is the  Sixth preview of my new eBook titled 

"The 10 Myths Killing Success (and how to defeat them)"


Myth Six - The Past
 
Well, not just any old past...YOUR Past.  We all have them.  No one can forget their past.   Some are healthy, some, not so much. 

Indeed, one's experiences do form us, 
                 change us, 
                       shear off the edges, create a few new ones,  
                                leave dents, polish the flat spots, 
                                             create a few scares...and some cuts that just won't heal.
Truly the one thing we all have in common is a past, a history of events, feelings experiences, ups, down, luck, decisions...All collectively called the Past.

Our Past can be a lot like gravity 
For some, the past can be a constant reminder of limitations...weight...and always knowing what would happen if they actually jumped off the edge.  

For others, the past can be like the massive orb in space that when traveled toward with just the right trajectory will sling-shot them off into amazing speed beyond their own limitations.

There is one very interesting and completely amazing decision we all have to make about the past...it is a yes of no decision, a toggle switch, an agreement if you will:
We all can either take the past with us, or leave it where it is.  

That's right, the past has no ability to mobilize on its own.  The past has no legs, no motor, no propeller...nothing.  We either pack it up in our baggage, or we let it stay....in the past.

What your past does for you, good or bad, is totally your decision...


Ready to unpack for a while?

Rix Done

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Myths That Kills Success - Myth 5: Entitlement

This is the Fifth  preview of my new eBook titled 
"The 10 Myths Killing Success.  (and how to defeat them)"

Myth Five - Entitlement
Feel free to share these excerpts with anyone you know who is trying to define success in their own life or business. 
See if any of these myths have stopped you from finding clarity and moving forward:


No, this is not a political issue, but a personal maturity problem we all suffer from and it looks like this:
   I have worked really hard...it's time for a beer.
   I have been very attentive to my wife...it's time for some fun
   I can beat this next level of Angry Birds...I haven't played this for a couple days....
  
It's also found in one single word:  Deserve
   You deserve luxury...
   I deserve better than that...
   You deserve a break today..

The problem with entitlements is that it trades the BEST for the NOW.  
    I want it NOW...
      I want to feel better NOW
        I  want to spend money NOW!  
          After all, I deserve it NOW!

So we trade the best for whatever physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, sparkly thing impulse we want right now.  And the best?  Well, it gets farther and farther way.  This is not to say we only live for the future, but that living in the notion that one "deserves" momentary pleasure, time wasting, mental stimulation, or any illegitimate expression of anger will destroy the future.

Keeping your dream, your future, your vision in front of you means that one does what is important for that dream, that vision, that future.  Do not live as if anyone, anything, any God, any time, any pleasure OWES you anything.  Live to add value to others keeping your dream in front.  Let NOTHING cloud it.

Look, if we really got what we deserved, I suspect most of us would be a wisp of smoke.

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Ten Myths Killing Success: Myth Three - Intelligence

Myth Three - Intelligence

This is the Third preview of my new eBook titled 
"The 10 Myths Killing Success.  (and how to defeat them)"

Feel free to share these excerpts with anyone you know who is trying to define success in their own life or business. 
See if any of these myths have stopped you from finding clarity and moving forward:

 Myth Three - Intelligence

Write this down, memorize it,  make a sign and put it on your bathroom mirror, heck, tattoo it on your eyelids if you need to, but commit this one truth to your core:  
The main difference between those who do it, and those who don't do it,
is those who do it, do it.

The notion that intelligence is required for success remains one of the most harmful myths that keep many people from even trying to get started.

I know why - with the dumbing down of education, the prevalent undercurrent of doubts about human potential, and the fact that society tends to reward mere intelligence - a gift no one works for -  from a young age, has convinced many of us that "I'm not smart enough to do (fill in the blank)... 

Interestingly, there is a very low correlation between raw intelligence and life achievement. Sure, there are some who breeze through educational pursuits, others who seem to "know everything," and for the rest of us, it seems like they just got a head start in life.  

But in the long run, not even in the end yet, just as time goes by, those who really succeed are those who simply DO IT!  The people who ignore the fact that they are not smart enough, and just go ahead and succeed, succeed.  Those who intentionally heal from a parenting style that tells them they don't have the brain power, succeed.  The people who simply have not entertained the idea that they needed more cerebral strength to actually start a business, create a service, invent a gizmo, or just flat work at it...those are the ones who succeed.

Why?   Because:
The main difference between those who do it, and those who don't do it,
is those who do it, do it.

Face it, you are NOT smart enough...and you never had to be... to succeed.

The 10 Myths Killing Success: Myth Four - Ability


Myth Four - Ability

This is the Third preview of my new eBook titled 
"The 10 Myths Killing Success.  (and how to defeat them)"

Feel free to share these excerpts with anyone you know who is trying to define success in their own life or business. 
See if any of these myths have stopped you from finding clarity and moving forward:

 Myth Four - Ability

Jeannette looked at me and said, "I want to run another marathon."  
"Another?"  I thought to myself.  How in the world did this girl ever even run one?  I mean, look at her...she was 35 years old, had three kids, and didn't look "fit" at all.  But there she was telling me she wanted to run another one.

Long before most of will ever "do something" we were already capable.  Probably the most deadly words any human can string together is, "I can't".  In fact, most of the great historical failures occurred when someone simply didn't do something.  I know, there is no huge book of "Things Not Done." but trust me, they are all there.  

The amount of energy most of us put in creating reasons why we can't act, move, think, create, finish, start, or succeed would probably light a small city for a month.  The lie here is that somewhere along the way, we became convinced that there must be a tremendous amount of ability, talent, skill - call it what you will - for our own personal success.  

So we settle for the most prevalent slurry of human failure - mediocrity.  

There is no great thing humans have ever accomplished that had to wait on ability to achieve.  Accepting the myth that one must be "able" or fit, or has arrived, means that very little will ever happen in your life.


As Jeanette took a swig from her protein shake, I wondered how a person like her could run a 26.2 mile marathon.  I wondered how she could run a mile. Heck, I couldn't wrap my brain around how she could run at all.  This unlikely marathon runner had no legs.  She ran the entire 26 miles on her hands.

If you believe you need ability to succeed, you have a long wait.

Friday, July 4, 2014

10 Myths Killing Success: Myth Two - Permission

Myth Two - Permission
This is the Second preview of my new eBook titled 
"The 10 Myths Killing Success.  (and how to defeat them)"

Feel free to share these excerpts with anyone you know who is trying to define success in their own life or business.  See if any of these myths have stopped you from finding clarity and moving forward:

Myth Two - Permission

The children obediently lined up one by one at the food line in the school cafeteria.  When the lunch attendant said, "OK, you can start" each child eagerly pushed forward to get their lunch.  You didn't have to tell them more than once to start grabbing fruit, milk and whatever the mystery meat was for the day.  All the needed was permission.

While we certainly applaud the kiddos for being polite and learning their manners and waiting until told, there is a big part of all of us that seem to think any achievement needs to same level of "allow-ability" before we can get going.  There is a very strong myth that somehow success, achievement, action..whatever you want to call it,  needs someone else to tell us it is OK to proceed.  

A young entrepreneur watches other more experienced business owners launch out, and wonders to herself, "I hope I can be that good someday..."  A middle aged man whose career has not flowered as he had once hoped, thinks to himself, "What if I could start over?"  A recent high school graduate pours through potential colleges and dreams, "Could I really be make it through Med School?"  

All three have the same stopping point.  The same block:  All three are waiting for someone to tell them it's OK to proceed, to get going, to take a risk, to JUMP!

So, here's the dark secret few know:  NO ONE will give you permission to pursue.  No one.  In fact, we are waiting on you to make the decision.  You stand at the edge of the imaginary diving board called "Life change" and frankly, no one is watching.  no one. 

If you are going to succeed, achieve, risk, jump out, then YOU are going to have to do it.  Stop waiting for the lunch lady to say, "OK, go on..."  There is no lunch lady at the front of the line.  YOU are at the front of the line... You don't need anyone's permission.  That decision, that dream, that hope, that next best life you have always wondered about... you know that one?  You know which one I am talking about?  THAT'S the one YOU need to pursue.  

(no one will give you permission - you don't need it anyway. 

Friday, June 27, 2014

10 Myths Killing Success: Myth One - Effort

This is the first preview of my new eBook titled 
"The 10 Myths Killing Success.  (and how to defeat them)"

Feel free to share these excerpts with anyone you know who is trying to define success in their own life or business.  See if any of these myths have stopped you from finding clarity and moving forward:

Myth One - The Myth of Effort

Through my growing up years, I was taught the following:  "Work hard in school so you can get good grades so you can go to a good college so you can get a good job."  While there's certainly nothing boldly false about this series of notions, it has become clear that mere "hard work" does not naturally spawn success. 

Don't get me wrong, there is no success without effort; success is not an accident waiting to happen.  But for those of us who bought into the idea that "trying harder" would "produce more and better results", we learned more out of bruising and beating that more and better does not come so easily.

Hundreds of years ago, medical science believed that leeches had a positive effect on human health.  Leeches: You know, those slimy slug looking critters that attaches to warm blooded animals and sucks their blood out for food.  In fact, this belief was so prevalent that we had seminars on leeching.  We gave out degrees in leeching.  We had leeching experts, leeching best practices, leeching farms.  We spent an enormous amount of energy, and effort on perfecting the "science" of bleeding people so that we could "balance the humors of the body."  

We spent lots of energy.  But we spent all that time, money, research, and effort on something not even effective.  We were gaining tons of knowledge, experience, and expertise on developing a strategy that ultimately was a failure.

How many businesses, personal lives, endeavors, governments, programs, dollars, are expended in efforts going the opposite direction to actual success?  

Is your effort producing success?  Or could you be leeching instead of curing?  What if your effort, as noble as it may seem, what if your effort is focused in the wrong direction?

Friday, June 20, 2014

The Richest Man Is Wise

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your
self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters.. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Friday, June 13, 2014

The One Thing You Can Not See


Look around you right now.  I guarantee there is one thing that you simply can not see.  No, This is not a metaphysical allusion to "look inward young grasshopper."  Really, there is one thing in front of you...It is there.. keep looking....  It matters not where you are - it is there...but you can not see it.

The one thing none of us can see, is our own eye.  We use our eyes to see everything, but we can not view our own eye. (OK, all you literalists, I know about the mirror trick...just chill out and bear with me, K?)

We look at people, see their flaws, and note them. 
We look at another business, see the errors, and gloat in them. 
We look at a competitor's failures, and float them.... in the public pool of gossip.

Your eye can see everything, but itself.  Which is, of course, is why we are so blind to our own flaws, errors and failures.  But, before you anticipate this to be a shout-out to self-pity or self-abasement, hold the critique for a moment.

Being able to See, probably the greatest attribute of the physical body, means one can negotiate spatial relationships and not harm them self or others by simply moving about.  The ability to see means we can discern distance, appreciate colors, apprehend beauty, drive a car, run down a hill, give high fives, and hit a tennis ball.  When people are asked which of the five senses would be the worst to lose, the universal answer is sight.

What if God was giving us a message in this one single limitation of the incredible gift of sight?  Is it possible the reason we can't see our own eye is because the important stuff to see is out there?  My mentor, John Maxwell once said:
"With one trifling exception, the world is made up of others." 

Wish I had said that....wish I lived it better too!


   ----Rix Done

Friday, June 6, 2014

I Want To Leave Peanuts


Imagine impacting your world so deeply, that every single weekend people all over America think about you…even 12 years after you die.

His name was Charles M. Schultz, and  he was the creator of “Peanuts” and characters such as Charlie Brown, Lucy, and Snoopy. 

Pick up any weekend cartoon page of your local newspaper, and there, in the top billed spot is “Peanuts” – week after week.  Last Sunday’s Peanuts cartoon was first published in 1965!  Talk about remaining relevant!

I’ll bet you can’t even name the Best Picture in 1965?  (Sound of Music) and there is no way, you remember who won Best Actor in 1965…you’ll have to look that one up.  I had to.

Is your message, life, actions, intentions, family, marriage, and legacy  going to last?  Even a year after you leave the world?  No, I am not saying everyone should feel they must impact the whole world.  But someone is watching you right now…seeking your advice, learning from your words, listening to your heart.  In fact, you are impacting people…like it or not. 
 
This is not a “feel good and smile” idea – this is real life.  We all impact others…

I want to leave the world with more Peanuts, and less shells.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Make Your Critics Your Coach



"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" was the advice from Vito Corleone to his son.  Now, for those of us not in the organized "Family", this advice seems a bit too dark.  He was telling the soon to be Godfather that enemies will always be waiting for you and finding weaknesses to exploit.

But what if he was right?  Are our critics always wrong?  Do they ever have valid and reliable insights for us?  Maybe, just maybe, those who criticize us may have even a little truth in their words?

There is a vast difference between a Mentor and a Coach.  A mentor says, "Watch me and be like me...do what I do, the way i do it and how I do it and why I do it."  We need Mentors

Coaches are different.  Coaches say...well, they don't say much.  They do more asking questions and making observations.  Coaches are not about themselves; they are about their clients.  A truly good coach says, "I see this, what do you think?  How do you want to change?  Tell me how it feels when you succeed...."

Critics pretty much do the same.  Critics say, "I see this about you and here is how it feels to me."  Granted, critics don't really care about you, your success, or how their criticism feels to you.  But critics have a core of truth in their words.

What if you let down your ego and listened to those who criticize?  Not with a view to shift for their liking, but listening to the truth couched in the vitriol.  Listen, if you are so brittle that criticism always hurts, then you probably are not fiding much success anyway.  But if you simply listen for WHAT your critics are telling you and not HOW they are telling you, you might find some really good advice. 

But here's the deal:  Pride will give your critics more ammo, and you less power.

Friday, May 23, 2014

What Do You Make?

When someone asks, "What do you make?" they are usually asking how much money you make a year.  It's not really a bad question...maybe a bit intrusive, but not really offensive.

I got that question last week.  Here is how it went:

We met about an hour ago...one of those "elevator encounters". He said, "Wow, you are a coach. I have heard about them. So, what do you make?"

I looked him in the eyes and said, "I make the impossible incredibly accessible; I help you find your 'Why' and make the road ahead clearly visible. I value your vision of your future and help you find the means to employ your time, talents and treasure to make it happen. In a word, I make a difference."

He stared at me and blinked a couple of times, then I asked him, "What do you make?"He called me two minutes ago and said, "I don't care about the cost, will you help me make a difference too?"


If someone asked you "what do you make?"  what would tell them?


--Rix Done

Friday, May 16, 2014

When Thinking Messes Things Up

When does thinking mess things up?

When Meditation overpowers Movement.

Movement is infinitely more powerful than meditation.  But alas, many leaders are paralysed into thinking that thinking will make their thinking more better.

So they blame laziness, fear, and frankly, empty spirits on being busy with thinking - meditating.

So get moving. Do....something!  What's the worst that could happen?  Finding out you have other options?

--Rix Done

Friday, May 9, 2014

What Do Leaders Fear?

Leaders, both those who own the roll and those who own the label, fear many things.  Here is the list:

Leaders who own the label, but not the position:
   - being exposed
   - losing power
   - not being respected
   - the future
   - who is behind them and wanting their position
   - their own weaknesses
   - other's weaknesses

Leaders who own the Roll, even without the label:
   - being mediocre
   - not helping other's succeed
   - not listening well
   - wasting time
  
Leadership is one thing and one thing only:  INFLUENCE

Leadership is not a label, not a position, not name.  Leadership is influence with others.

Which is why leaders who have the label and not the roll pretty much live in fear...

--Rix done

Friday, May 2, 2014

Actionate, Don't Caffeinate

We do all kind of things to 'get going." 

- listen to "motivational" speakers
- make more plans
- set better goals
- eat "healthier" food
- drink more coffee - (OK, so this one isn't so bad)

We try anything to get charged, ripped, pumped, hyped, psyched, excited, juices flowing, more in knowing, peaked, seeked, and amped and ramped

But the one thing that keep most of us from actually pulling it all off is this:  Action.

I have a friend who told me the most common reason for failure is FTI:  Failure To Implement.  He's right.  Ceasing action in favor of more thinking rarely accomplishes...anything.

You don't need more caffeine.  You need more action.

Are you moving?
or are you
getting-ready-to-think-about-planning-on-putting-into-place-a-strategy-that-will-become-the-means-by-which-all-other-intents-become-the basis-for-which-we-make-all-future-plans?

--Rix done

Friday, April 25, 2014

Why Own A Drill?

Jason called me so excited and nearly out of breath.

"I got it!" he began, "I have finally achieved my entire life goal...I have been longing for this, I have been working for this...since I can remember this has been my dream, and now I have it!"

"You found what? You have been working for what?" I pleaded.

"Just come over right now, and I will show you."

I drove over and Jason was waiting on his porch and was literally bouncing up and down. He took me into his living room and pointed to a huge glass display case sitting in the center of the room.

"There, you see? I am now totally complete."

I looked in the display case and there, under a bright light and laying on polished glass was Jason's purpose for existing. Sitting in front of me was a power drill.

Before you think Jason to be just a sandwich shy of a picnic, think about this: Why would anyone want a drill? I mean really, who really wants to own a drill? Isn't the only point of owning a drill to make a hole?

No one, in their right mind, would view owning a drill as their "point", their mission, their purpose, right? Right? ....right? Well, not so fast. If the only reason to own a drill is to make a hole, who would think a drill is the purpose? Well, you, might.

What is the reason (read "hole" here) you went into business? Your business, your position, your leadership is a drill, not the hole. YOU, are not a hole.

Growing is not a hole...
Bigger is not a hole...
Money is not a hole...
Branding is not a hole...
Power is not a hole...

There are many leaders who have no idea what their hole is supposed to look like, (or even if they should make one) so they make their drill the point.

The hole IS the point, the mission, the purpose. The hole is the WHY!

What shape is your purpose? Is it round, open, deep, allowing for something or someone to fit in, a space for something to happen?

Or have you made your purpose look more like a dysfunctional handgun with no bullets?

   ---Rix done

Friday, April 18, 2014

Want To Be Inspired?

OK, if you really want to be inspired, watch this short 2 minute video...then ask yourself, "Would you sit down?"


NOW, ask yourself,

would you sit down if:
....  all the people in the the theater were black?
....  all the people in the the theater were gay?
....  all the people in the the theater were Christian?
....  all the people in the the theater were Atheist?
....  all the people in the the theater were homeless?

Leadership is not defined by who I like, or who is like me....

Leadership is about knowing WHY....

For the record, I would hire any those folks who finally sat down.


-- Rix done

Friday, April 4, 2014

Start With The WHY

From time to time, we all stumble across an amazing find that makes us say, 
"YES!  That's what I mean!"

Ever see this guy?

Simon Sinek is that find for me.  Simon has a book called, "Start With Why".  (Amazon, iTunes)  This amazingly simple idea centers around The Golden Circle - just draw three concentric circles that look like a target.  On the outer most circle he draws the word "WHAT".  The next circle the word "HOW".  The inner circle is the single word: "WHY".

As Sinek observes, few ever get to the Why, but the Why is ultimately all that matters. No kidding!  Not much else matters.

What is your WHY?  Why do you do what you do?  Not What do you do, not even How do you do it....but WHY?  For the record, if you are not inspiring people, you really don't know your WHY....no really, you don't!

Think you know your WHY?  I dare you to check out his website....then let me know.  For the record, after reading Sinek's book, I was really messed up for about a week.

Rix done

Friday, March 14, 2014

And Speaking of Elephants

It's Uncle Jerry...you know, weird Uncle Jerry that no one invites to the family gatherings...

Maybe it's that really dopey thing you said last time you "hope" no one remembers...or it's the debt your company has piled up that has run your profits ashore...maybe it's the Front Office person who doesn't know how to keep his or her really big mouth shut....

Whatever "it" is, "it" is also called The Elephant in the Room.  The Elephant is the thing, person, event, thinking, intention, mistake, fear, unresolved offense, lost client, harmful relationship, lack of discipline, too much perfume, way loud, sexual innuendo, repeatedly poor performer, bigger than life thing in your personal or business room that frankly no one wants to mention....but it is killing you.

The problem with Elephants is they are hard to kill, get in the way, stink, leave really big piles of, well, waste, eat more than they should, make really big footprints, step on toes, make loud noises when not welcome, and take up way more room than is reasonable.  Yet no one talks about them.

Well, not "no one".  Plenty of people are talking about them.  There is really only one person who refuses to talk about the Elephant - the leader.  In fact, the ONLY one who can be the Elephant Eradicator is the Leader.  For the record, if the leader is not removing Elephants, then the Leader becomes the Elephant....

What's your Elephant?


--Rix done...