The One Thing You Can Not See

Look around you right now.  I guarantee there is one thing that you simply can not see.  No, This is not a metaphysical allusion to "look inward young grasshopper."  Really, there is one thing in front of you...It is there.. keep looking....  It matters not where you are - it is there...but you can not see it.

The one thing none of us can see, is our own eye.  We use our eyes to see everything, but we can not view our own eye. (OK, all you literalists, I know about the mirror trick...just chill out and bear with me, K?)

We look at people, see their flaws, and note them. 
We look at another business, see the errors, and gloat in them. 
We look at a competitor's failures, and float them.... in the public pool of gossip.

Your eye can see everything, but itself.  Which is, of course, is why we are so blind to our own flaws, errors and failures.  But, before you anticipate this to be a shout-out to self-pity or self-abasement, hold the critique for a moment.

Being able to See, probably the greatest attribute of the physical body, means one can negotiate spatial relationships and not harm them self or others by simply moving about.  The ability to see means we can discern distance, appreciate colors, apprehend beauty, drive a car, run down a hill, give high fives, and hit a tennis ball.  When people are asked which of the five senses would be the worst to lose, the universal answer is sight.

What if God was giving us a message in this one single limitation of the incredible gift of sight?  Is it possible the reason we can't see our own eye is because the important stuff to see is out there?  My mentor, John Maxwell once said:
"With one trifling exception, the world is made up of others." 

Wish I had said that....wish I lived it better too!


   ----Rix Done

Make Your Critics Your Coach

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" was the advice from Vito Corleone to his son.  Now, for those of us not in the organized "Family", this advice seems a bit too dark.  He was telling the soon to be Godfather that enemies will always be waiting for you and finding weaknesses to exploit.

But what if he was right?  Are our critics always wrong?  Do they ever have valid and reliable insights for us?  Maybe, just maybe, those who criticize us may have even a little truth in their words?

There is a vast difference between a Mentor and a Coach.  A mentor says, "Watch me and be like me...do what I do, the way i do it and how I do it and why I do it."  We need Mentors

Coaches are different.  Coaches say...well, they don't say much.  They do more asking questions and making observations.  Coaches are not about themselves; they are about their clients.  A truly good coach says, "I see this, what do you think?  How do you want to change?  Tell me how it feels when you succeed...."

Critics pretty much do the same.  Critics say, "I see this about you and here is how it feels to me."  Granted, critics don't really care about you, your success, or how their criticism feels to you.  But critics have a core of truth in their words.

What if you let down your ego and listened to those who criticize?  Not with a view to shift for their liking, but listening to the truth couched in the vitriol.  Listen, if you are so brittle that criticism always hurts, then you probably are not fiding much success anyway.  But if you simply listen for WHAT your critics are telling you and not HOW they are telling you, you might find some really good advice. 

But here's the deal:  Pride will give your critics more ammo, and you less power.

What Do You Make?

When someone asks, "What do you make?" they are usually asking how much money you make a year.  It's not really a bad question...maybe a bit intrusive, but not really offensive.

I got that question last week.  Here is how it went:

We met about an hour ago...one of those "elevator encounters". He said, "Wow, you are a coach. I have heard about them. So, what do you make?"

I looked him in the eyes and said, "I make the impossible incredibly accessible; I help you find your 'Why' and make the road ahead clearly visible. I value your vision of your future and help you find the means to employ your time, talents and treasure to make it happen. In a word, I make a difference."

He stared at me and blinked a couple of times, then I asked him, "What do you make?"
He called me two minutes ago and said, "I don't care about the cost, will you help me make a difference too?"

If someone asked you "what do you make?"  what would tell them?


--Rix Done

When Thinking Messes Things Up

When does thinking mess things up?

When Meditation overpowers Movement.

Movement is infinitely more powerful than meditation.  But alas, many leaders are paralysed into thinking that thinking will make their thinking more better.

So they blame laziness, fear, and frankly, empty spirits on being busy with thinking - meditating.

So get moving. Do....something!  What's the worst that could happen?  Finding out you have other options?

--Rix Done

What Do Leaders Fear?

Leaders, both those who own the roll and those who own the label, fear many things.  Here is the list:

Leaders who own the label, but not the position:
   - being exposed
   - losing power
   - not being respected
   - the future
   - who is behind them and wanting their position
   - their own weaknesses
   - other's weaknesses

Leaders who own the Roll, even without the label:
   - being mediocre
   - not helping other's succeed
   - not listening well
   - wasting time
  
Leadership is one thing and one thing only:  INFLUENCE

Leadership is not a label, not a position, not name.  Leadership is influence with others.

Which is why leaders who have the label and not the roll pretty much live in fear...

--Rix done

Actionate, Don't Caffeinate

We do all kind of things to 'get going." 

- listen to "motivational" speakers
- make more plans
- set better goals
- eat "healthier" food
- drink more coffee - (OK, so this one isn't so bad)

We try anything to get charged, ripped, pumped, hyped, psyched, excited, juices flowing, more in knowing, peaked, seeked, and amped and ramped

But the one thing that keep most of us from actually pulling it all off is this:  Action.

I have a friend who told me the most common reason for failure is FTI:  Failure To Implement.  He's right.  Ceasing action in favor of more thinking rarely accomplishes...anything.

You don't need more caffeine.  You need more action.

Are you moving?
or are you
getting-ready-to-think-about-planning-on-putting-into-place-a-strategy-that-will-become-the-means-by-which-all-other-intents-become-the basis-for-which-we-make-all-future-plans?

--Rix done

Why Own A Drill?

Jason called me so excited and nearly out of breath.

"I got it!" he began, "I have finally achieved my entire life goal...I have been longing for this, I have been working for this...since I can remember this has been my dream, and now I have it!"

"You found what? You have been working for what?" I pleaded.

"Just come over right now, and I will show you."

I drove over and Jason was waiting on his porch and was literally bouncing up and down. He took me into his living room and pointed to a huge glass display case sitting in the center of the room.

"There, you see? I am now totally complete."

I looked in the display case and there, under a bright light and laying on polished glass was Jason's purpose for existing. Sitting in front of me was a power drill.

Before you think Jason to be just a sandwich shy of a picnic, think about this: Why would anyone want a drill? I mean really, who really wants to own a drill? Isn't the only point of owning a drill to make a hole?

No one, in their right mind, would view owning a drill as their "point", their mission, their purpose, right? Right? ....right? Well, not so fast. If the only reason to own a drill is to make a hole, who would think a drill is the purpose? Well, you, might.

What is the reason (read "hole" here) you went into business? Your business, your position, your leadership is a drill, not the hole. YOU, are not a hole.

Growing is not a hole...
Bigger is not a hole...
Money is not a hole...
Branding is not a hole...
Power is not a hole...

There are many leaders who have no idea what their hole is supposed to look like, (or even if they should make one) so they make their drill the point.

The hole IS the point, the mission, the purpose. The hole is the WHY!

What shape is your purpose? Is it round, open, deep, allowing for something or someone to fit in, a space for something to happen?

Or have you made your purpose look more like a dysfunctional handgun with no bullets?

   ---Rix done

Want To Be Inspired?

OK, if you really want to be inspired, watch this short 2 minute video...then ask yourself, "Would you sit down?"

NOW, ask yourself,

would you sit down if:

....  all the people in the the theater were black?

....  all the people in the the theater were gay?

....  all the people in the the theater were Christian?

....  all the people in the the theater were Atheist?

....  all the people in the the theater were homeless?

Leadership is not defined by who I like, or who is like me....

Leadership is about knowing WHY....

For the record, I would hire any those folks who finally sat down.

-- Rix done

And Speaking of Elephants

It's Uncle Jerry...you know, weird Uncle Jerry that no one invites to the family gatherings...

Maybe it's that really dopey thing you said last time you "hope" no one remembers...or it's the debt your company has piled up that has run your profits ashore...maybe it's the Front Office person who doesn't know how to keep his or her really big mouth shut....

Whatever "it" is, "it" is also called The Elephant in the Room.  The Elephant is the thing, person, event, thinking, intention, mistake, fear, unresolved offense, lost client, harmful relationship, lack of discipline, too much perfume, way loud, sexual innuendo, repeatedly poor performer, bigger than life thing in your personal or business room that frankly no one wants to mention....but it is killing you.

The problem with Elephants is they are hard to kill, get in the way, stink, leave really big piles of, well, waste, eat more than they should, make really big footprints, step on toes, make loud noises when not welcome, and take up way more room than is reasonable.  Yet no one talks about them.

Well, not "no one".  Plenty of people are talking about them.  There is really only one person who refuses to talk about the Elephant - the leader.  In fact, the ONLY one who can be the Elephant Eradicator is the Leader.  For the record, if the leader is not removing Elephants, then the Leader becomes the Elephant....

What's your Elephant?


--Rix done...

Start With The WHY

From time to time, we all stumble across an amazing find that makes us say, 

"YES!  That's what I mean!"

Ever see this guy?

Simon Sinek is that find for me.  Simon has a book called, "Start With Why".  (Amazon, iTunes)  This amazingly simple idea centers around The Golden Circle - just draw three concentric circles that look like a target.  On the outter most circle he draws the word "WHAT".  The next circle the word "HOW".  The inner circle is the single word: "WHY".

As Sinek observes, few ever get to the Why, but the Why is ultimately all that matters. No kidding!  Not much else matters.

What is your WHY?  Why do you do what you do?  Not What do you do, not even How do you do it....but WHY?  For the record, if you are not inspiring people, you really don't know your WHY....no really, you don't!

Think you know your WHY?  I dare you to check out his website....then let me know.  For the record, after reading Sinek's book, I was really messed up for about a week.

Rix done